Well, after a long hiatus, here I am with another post.  I never intended for this blog to a “regular” thing, but I guess I never thought it would be THIS irregular.  As much as I like the idea of regularly expressing my thoughts about things, it just seems that life has a way of getting in the way.

This has been especially true in the past 5 weeks, where we went from finding out my Dad had stage IV colon cancer to, finally, burying him this past Tuesday.  The truth is, it was almost a certainty that my Dad would die soon after we got the diagnosis, and so I really started mourning his loss from that time.  This journey has had an unexpected character, which maybe I will dwell on in future post(s), but for now, I’ve had a few requests to post what I have written for my Dad and read at his memorial.

You have about you now the accouterments of death

As your cells choke on their own waste,

An oxygen mask and morphine drip

Deliver the life’s breath we all take for granted

 

To think just passing a month ago

We thought you were fine

As like our sinful rebellion this disease ravaged your members

Slowly destroying all that tenuously sustained you

 

I know that our time together on this plane is drawing to a close,

And so, I remember…

 

In the image of your Father, your love o’erspilled and became action

And then I was.

 

Diapers changed, a stomach filled,

a trust formed, lasting longer than memory

 

Toddler tears shed over an everyday absence,

a day’s labor spent for my benefit,

and yet, a day apart from you was a day apart from myself, my essence

 

For the love of the game, we sat and took it all in,

The crack of the bat, the smell of the grass, the taste of the hot dog

Like your father before you, we basked, for the love of the game.

 

For the love of the game, we sweated, and toiled and bled,

Batting cages, and fielding drills;

Lessons learned, like discipline and commitment,

Like sacrifice for the team; a win for one is a win for all

 

Time flies by, and so do music lessons, games, festivals, tryouts and auditions

My journey became my own, and yet I could feel your pride and support

My failures and disappointments never seemed to phase you,

From you I learn that true love is not something based on condition or performance,

but a gift freely given and received

 

I love to ride with you behind the wheel.

With Chicago and Cetera as sound track, you and I together conquer life’s journeys

We go to practices, performances

Across the country, through both space and time, we ride

 

A semester’s break’s visit

A new girl to meet

I beam with pride as we share a meal and you two hit it off

 

I am amazed at the love you show her

More precious to me than life itself,

you treat her like a daughter

 

Sacrificial love for her is second nature to you.

On a Christmas Eve, you travel to a half dozen stores

To find just the right remedy to ease the pain

As she carried your granddaughter inside her

 

And then we saw love multiplied

So much now I can understand and relate to

So much joy in a single moment together,

Is this how you felt?

 

And so, it’s hard to imagine life’s journey without you.

 

The pastor says our earthly parents are like training wheels pointing to God,

but this is one two-wheeled bike I’d rather not ride

 

And yet, Lord Jesus this much I know is true…

 

I know that before time began

You knew how hard today would be

And so your love overspilled into action

And you redeemed a people for yourself

That all those who call on your name shall be saved

 

I know that you are a father to the fatherless

 

I know that your heart is close to those who suffer,

To the widow and the orphan

 

I know that you bind up the brokenhearted

And that you stick closer than a brother

 

I know that you have conquered death

and in you the grave has no sting

 

I know that Dad is seated in the heavenly places

And that he knows the surpassing riches of Your grace

In kindness towards us

 

I know that he will be changed in a moment,

in the twinkling of an eye,

To a new body, incorruptible, to reign with Christ forever

 

I know that now his days (if there is such a thing)

Are spent forever singing

“Holy, Holy, Holy

Is the Lord God almighty,

Who was, and is, and is to come”

 

I know that even now as we shed tears at his passing

That God almighty is wiping all the tears from his eyes

And death and mourning and crying and pain

No longer have meaning

 

I know that you have made him new!

That in his face is reflected your glory,

Brighter than a thousand suns

 

I know that he is occupying the place you prepared for him

From all eternity, from all time,

And that if I can wait just a little longer,

I will see Dad again, and together we will sing your praises.